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| This view of Medjugorje was taken from the top of Cross Mountain. |
My ENTIRE being desired to be in Medjugorje since I first heard about it! If you've spent any time around me over the past year, you can attest to that. I wanted so badly to be in this place where Heaven comes down and touches the earth! I wanted to be in this place of countless miracles! I wanted to be near my Mother!
I have always loved the Blessed Mother. As Catholics, we don't worship the Blessed Mother. We pray with her. We ask her to intercede for us to her Son, Jesus. Just like we ask all of the other Saints to intercede for us. However, we truly believe that Mary is the most powerful of all intercessors. Her first intercession was seen at the wedding feast at Cana. (John 2).
Additionally, over the past few weeks, I have been feeling closer to the Blessed Mother than ever before. Since I found out that there is a child within me, I can't help but ponder Mary's own pregnancy with our Lord. At 9 weeks, our baby is the size of a cherry! Because our Jesus was fully God and fully human, He was once the size of a cherry too! It truly is a miracle to be carrying around a child inside of you, but can you imagine carrying around our Savior for 9 months?!? Our God humbled Himself to be essentially a prisoner in Mary's womb for 9 months! Then Mary cared for Jesus for years alongside her obedient husband, Joseph. Think about how much He must love, respect, and trust His Mother!
I imagine Jesus bringing each of His apostles to meet His Mother during His life. I imagine the respect and love that they had for her. Jesus even entrusted His beloved apostle, John, to take care of His Mother after His death. (John 19: 26-27). (The moment she truly became Mother of us all!) I imagine how much St. Peter and the apostles relied on the Blessed Mother in those first days after Jesus' ascension into Heaven as Peter was forming the Church. After all, Mary would have been the first disciple of Jesus. She did raise Him after all! Imagine all the intimate conversations they had together! Imagine all the knowledge that Mary had!
"In Sacred Scripture, the Church constantly finds her nourishment and her strength, for she welcomes it not as human word, 'but as what it really is, the word of God.' In the sacred books, the Father who is in heaven comes lovingly to meet his children, and talks with them.'" CCC 104. I think sometimes we forget that much of this Sacred Scripture was still being divinely inspired and written during the first days and years of the early Church. That's why the authority of the Catholic Church does not stem from Scripture alone but also from Sacred Tradition:
- "Sacred Scripture is the speech of God as it is put down in writing under the breath of the Holy Spirit.' 'And [Holy] Tradition transmits in its entirety the Word of God which has been entrusted to the apostles by Christ the Lord and the Holy Spirit. It transmits it to the successors of the apostles so that, enlightened by the Spirit of truth, they may faithfully preserve, expound and spread it abroad by their preaching.' As a result the Church, to whom the transmission and interpretation of Revelation is entrusted, 'does not derive her certainty about all revealed truths from the holy Scriptures alone. Both Scripture and Tradition must be accepted and honored with equal sentiments of devotion and reverence.'" CCC 81-82.
However, contrary to what you may think, Medjugorje is not centered around the Blessed Mother or these apparitions. Medjugorje is centered around Jesus. Our Lady draws all pilgrims and parishioners most importantly to the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and to the sacrament of the Eucharist during the Holy Mass. Further, she invites us to prayer, fasting, and the sacrament of Reconciliation.
Of course like any pilgrim, I was secretly hoping to maybe witness a miracle or two while I was in Medjugorje. I got my miracle, but not in the way I was expecting. During my time in Medjugorje, we went to Mass every day if not twice a day. I'm pretty sure Connor and I have been to Mass 9 days in a row. Even after traveling for more than 30 hours yesterday and driving home from Dallas today (Monday), the first thing Connor and I wanted to do in Houston was go Mass so we could receive our Lord, Jesus, in the Eucharist. This mind-stretching, soul-strengthening mystery of our faith was my Medjugorje miracle.
Although I have witnessed this mysterious miracle many times in my life during Masses all over the world, I have taken it for granted more times than I'd like to admit. The Body, Soul, and Divinity of my Jesus is truly present every time I receive the Eucharist!! I know the Blessed Mother interceded for me to receive the grace of deepening my understanding of what this truly implies.
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| After every crucifixion, there is a resurrection. |
But I don't want to dissuade you from going to Medjugorje either :) It is truly a place where the soul is strengthened, faith is deepened, and awe is renewed.
Sunday
Connor and I arrived in Medjugorje on Sunday, March 12 around 4PM. We were greeted with dinner and with a warm welcome from our guide for the week, Miki Musa. After dinner and throwing our bags into our room, he drove us a mile or two to the church where we would participate in the evening program. At 5PM, the sorrowful and joyful mysteries of the Rosary are said in the church. At 6PM, Mass is said in Croatian (and translated via radio into English or any of the at least 17 other languages). The Mass concludes with the Peace Rosary (Apostles Creed, 7 Our Fathers, 7 Hail Marys, and 7 Glory Bes). At 7PM, a healing prayer, priestly blessing of religious articles, then glorious mysteries of the Rosary are said.
The first night was pretty hard for us to fully focus because we were so exhausted from traveling for the past 24 hours, but it is our obligation and privilege to go to Mass every Sunday so we didn't want to miss it. Plus, there is always something so comforting to me about going to Mass away from home knowing that the readings will be the same, the responses will be the same, and the Eucharistic prayer will be the same. It immediately makes me feel like I'm at home. Our Church is universal and for that I am ever grateful. After Mass, I'm pretty sure we both passed out by 8:30PM.
Monday
Thankfully, we got a long, wonderful night's rest and were bright-eyed and eager to take everything in the next morning. Miki had shown us the night before how to walk to Mass. So after breakfast, Connor and I prayed the Joyful mysteries and walked through the fields to the 10AM daily English Mass. This 10AM Mass easily became the highlight of our every day in Medjugorje as I described above.
After Mass, our tour guide, Miki, showed us around. On Monday, March 12, it felt like we had Medjugorje all to ourselves. The town was quiet because most pilgrims would not start arriving until Wednesday, Thursday, or even Friday for the Saturday, March 18 annual apparition to Mirjana. It was a beautiful and peaceful day. We learned about the history of Medjugorje and the apparitions which started while Medjugorje was ruled under communist Yugoslavia. The history is fascinating if you ever have time to dig in. I recommend reading My Heart Will Triumph by Mirjana Soldo.
At 4PM, we were scheduled to meet and have dinner with the two other people in our Trinity pilgrimage group, Jan and Maureen.
It's hard to describe how quickly these two women became our friends. How God knew that our pilgrimage to Medjugorje was meant to include these two beautiful souls. And how easily He opened our hearts to each other. We learned so very much from our new Canadian friends and laughed a ton along the way! Connor and I already miss them, and we hope to see them again soon! Calgary, here we come!
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| Jan and Maureen enjoyed me ordering a banana split pretty much every night for dessert almost as much as I enjoyed eating one every night! |
Tuesday
On Tuesday, we walked to the church, went to Mass, toured around town with Miki, Jan, and Maureen, then Connor and I decided to climb Cross Mountain that afternoon. We started climbing around 3:30PM. Let me just tell you that this is not an easy hike. The terrain is incredibly rocky. I mean big rocks. However, it is a beautiful hike to offer up your suffering while reflecting on the Stations of the Cross which are positioned accordingly on the mountain. Something about reflecting on Jesus' passion makes your leg pain or your shortness of breath seem trivial.
It was especially beautiful for us because there was hardly anyone else on the hike. Connor and I were able to recite the reflection before each station out loud, pray our Our Father, Hail Mary, and Glory Be as we walked, then walk to the next station in a reflective silence. Once we reached the top, there was a 20 (at least) foot tall cross that had been built by the villagers in 1933. Once we made it to the top, it was breath-taking in a good way. "After every crucifixion, there is a resurrection," and we must remember that our suffering never goes to waste unless we let it.
We would have stayed up there longer, but we did not want to make the rocky hike down in the dark. You really have to rely on God to guide your steps on the way down, so you don't break an ankle or your face!
Thanks be to God that we made it safely down the hill! Then we met our friends, Jan & Maureen, in town for dinner. After dinner, we gathered in the completely packed church to worship our Jesus in Eucharistic Adoration. That is an incredible experience I pray each of you will one day get to see and experience for yourself!
Connor's fitbit said we walked 100 flights of stairs and over 15,000 steps by the end of this day. But what a beautiful day it was!
Wednesday
On Wednesday morning, the dining hall at Mirjana's (we stayed with one of the visionaries at her family's little hotel) was alive with the sound of many voices and excited faces. Two other pilgrimage groups of 19 Americans each had arrived the night before. We would be joining these 38 other Americans for the rest of the pilgrimage. Of those 38 people, 4 were priests. We all went to morning Mass together. While Miki gave the other 38 pilgrims the orientation tour until noon, the four of us spent a quiet morning praying, visiting the statue of the Risen Christ, and walking through the graveyard where Father Slavko is buried. Father Slavko Barbaric was instrumental in living out God's plan for the Medjugorje parish. He took great care of the well-being of the six visionaries who were intensely persecuted in communist Yugoslavia. He is the reason for many of the devotions such as the evening program in Medjugorje. He founded an orphanage called Mother's Village for children affected by the war which is beautifully thriving today. He truly was a servant of God, and many miracles have been attributed to his intercession.
At 12:30PM, we met the other pilgrims at Mirjana's and walked together to Apparition Hill. Once we got there, Miki guided us through the Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary which are positioned accordingly up the hill. He would give us his own personal reflections at each mystery, and we would recite that decade of the Rosary together. It was particularly special to Connor and me when Miki asked all of the pilgrims to pray for all of the unborn children and especially our child at the third mystery. Words don't do it justice for how wonderful this time of prayer was.
Eventually, we made it up to the statue of Mary which signifies where the Blessed Mother appeared for the first time. It was absolutely beautiful.
After our hike, we went back to Mirjana's for lunch where Mirjana, herself, served us our lunch. She was so joyful. She came over to me to make sure I was eating enough because she knew I was pregnant. She encouraged me to eat more! :)
After our second meal, we all spent some alone time in prayer with the Lord. I got to spend time writing out all my petitions and praying for these intentions at the base of the hill.
Thursday
After an early breakfast, all of the American pilgrims (and our two Canadians) met with Mirjana. She shared with us her story and answered our questions from 8-9:30AM. When Mirjana speaks, you see a joy and beauty that only comes from God.She loved us all so well. After these 36 years, she has learned so much from the Blessed Mother and it shows. I saw a glimpse of the Blessed Mother when Mirjana would speak and can only imagine how amplified the love and joy of our Blessed Mother is.
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| Our group picture with Mirjana after her talk. |
When Nancy met with the local bishop, she was handed two documents. First, a certificate of annulment that had taken Patrick's 1st wife 17 years to receive. Second, a certificate that Patrick's second marriage was invalid the eyes of the Church. Much to Patrick's chagrin, the Church allowed him to marry Nancy in the Catholic Church.
But nothing changed for Patrick because of that wedding covenant. Nothing changed until Nancy handed him a book of the Medjugorje messages and asked him to read them. He said he would throw them away. She asked him to at least read one message. He flipped through the book and chose the shortest one:
"I call you to conversion for the last time"
Those words "the last time" hit home to Patrick. I could go on and on about his testimony, but I'll spare you. Look up Patrick Latta on youtube if you're really curious: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUVV4PU6aBI. Long story short, Patrick came to experience God's love. He went to Confession and told the priest every SINGLE one of his sins. He joked that they were thinking of taking a coffee break in the middle! But he experienced God's love and mercy through the absolution of his sins. He began praying the Rosary. He began attending Holy Mass and receiving the Eucharist. His life completely changed. His children's lives began to change as well seeing the transformation of their dad. He sold his car dealerships and moved to Medjugorje with his wife, Nancy, twenty-five years ago. Today, they are still in the process of building a "castle" where priests and other religious sleep for free. Currently, their castle accommodates 250 clergy and religious who have journeyed from all over the world to stay there.
Patrick's story is a story of hope. It is a reminder that we all are never too far gone from God's Mercy. I can't really remember how we spent the rest of this day. I'm pretty sure we ended up eating and laughing with our new besties, Jan and Maureen, if I had to guess!
Friday
On Friday morning, Miki took us around the old village and showed us where the actual events took place during the first few days of the apparitions. It helped put everything in perspective for us. He also wanted to make sure we knew where to go for Mirjana's apparition on Saturday which would occur around 2PM at the Blue Cross.
I remember this morning well because it was the first time during the trip that I felt really sick. I am so thankful that I did not have the more intense morning sickness that I felt the week before during our time in Medjugorje.
Thankfully, I felt mostly better by the time the 10AM Mass started. After Mass, we listened to the local parish priest, Father Marinko, speak. Fr. Marinko grew up in Medjugorje and was 12 years old when our Lady began appearing. After we heard him speak, we listened to the visionary, Jakov, speak. Jakov was just 10 years old when the Blessed Mother began appearing to him. She truly became his Mother because his earthly mother passed away a few months before the first apparition. He received daily apparitions until 1998 and will receive an annual apparition on December 25 until the end of his life. When you listen to these visionaries speak, you can't help but see and hear the love of God radiate from them. They are sinners like us. They are striving for holiness like us. But our Jesus along with our Lady's love and messages are infused in their hearts, and it makes a difference in how they strive to carry out God's will in their lives.
After the talk, most of our group went with Miki to make the hike up Cross Mountain. We were sad to miss Miki's reflections on the Stations of the Cross, but we didn't want to traverse the rocky terrain on such a crowded day. Even the local parishioners climb the mountain on Fridays to pray the Stations of the Cross. Instead, Connor took me to lunch although he spent the day fasting. Then we rested in the grassy field behind the church for an hour (something I always imagined doing in Medjugorje for some reason) and then went to Eucharistic adoration in the small chapel.
When we got back, we spent some alone time in prayer. We ate as a group at 5:30PM and had the most marvelous, deep conversations with Jan and Maureen. Connor, Jan, and I also had one of the best candid conversations with Father Andrew at our little hotel from 8-10PM. We all learned so much and very much enjoyed that conversation.
Saturday
Our last day. Apparition day. We started our day in the best way by having 10AM Mass in a small chapel at Mother's Village, Father Slavko's orphanage. It was a beautiful Mass. One of our priests, Father Michael, said the Mass and his homily on this solemnity of St. Joseph was so inspiring.
After walking around for bit, we headed back to our little hotel by the Blue Cross around 11:45AM. We were eager to get a spot on Apparition Hill near the Blue Cross.
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| The view from where we were in relation to the Blue Cross. |
Amidst the praying, all of a sudden you hear "Silenco!" Mirjana is in ecstasy. And our Lady is present in our midst.
During the apparition, I was on my knees in prayer on the rocky ground. Trying my best to bring forth each prayer from deep within my heart. To present my intentions before our Lady and to just experience her presence. I felt a peace and a warmth within me. Externally, I heard at least 3 people scream those screams that you just know signify the release of demons from a person's soul because those demons cannot be in the presence of such holiness. Praise be to our Lord, Jesus Christ!
When our Lady left, I felt a curious sadness in my soul. I was sad when she was gone. I can only imagine the sadness that Mirjana feels when our Lady leaves. I felt a mere fraction. Mirjana bursts out into tears when our Lady leaves her. You can watch the apparition here via video to see what I mean: http://marytv.tv/?page_id=180
Mirjana transmitted the message. She can only remember the message for a few minutes after the apparition. After that, she has to read them just like the rest of us. I encourage you to replace the word "children" with your own name and read the message. Here is the message:
Our Lady’s annual apparition to Mirjana - March 18, 2017
(The apparition lasted from 13:44 to 13:48)
"Dear children! My motherly desire is for your hearts to be filled with peace, and for your souls to be pure so that in the presence of my Son you could see His face. Because, my children, as a mother I know that you thirst for consolation, hope and protection. You, my children, consciously and unconsciously are seeking my Son. I also, as I passed the time on earth, rejoiced, suffered and patiently endured pains, until my Son, in all His glory, removed them. And that is why I am saying to my Son: help them always. You, my children, with true love, illuminate the darkness of selfishness which all the more envelopes my children. Be generous. May both your hands and heart always be open. Do not be afraid. Abandon yourselves to my Son with trust and hope. As you look towards Him, live life with love. To love means to give oneself, to endure, and never to judge. To love means to live the words of my Son. My children, as a mother I am speaking to you: only true love leads to eternal happiness. Thank you."
May our Lady draw you closer to her Son through this message. May her words help illuminate your soul and bring you into deeper union with our God. May you too realize that our Blessed Mother is your Mother as well, and may your soul begin pondering her love for you. Amen.
Wow. I mean how to do you leave an apparition of the Blessed Mother?! What comes next? You want her to come back. You want to spend time in prayer. You want to go back to experiencing Heaven coming down to earth. How do you even come close to remedying that?!
You go to Mass. The place where Heaven comes down to earth every single day through the sacrament of the Eucharist!
At 6PM, we went to Mass. The church was wall-to-wall packed that at least 1000 people had to sit in the overflow seating outside of the church and participate in the Mass via the outdoor TV screens. It was a beautiful night. It was the first time we had ever celebrated Mass outside. And how beautiful it was to be in God's creation as we celebrated the Holy Mass. How inspiring the homily was! 34 priests co-celebrated that Mass together! Only priests are allowed to give the Eucharist to the people at Mass in Medjugorje. How reverently our Jesus is treated! What a joy it was to receive the Eucharist that night! How much our souls needed to be strengthened by the divine Presence of our God!! The Eucharist is my Medjugorje miracle. My greatest Medjugorje grace. How my heart and soul yearns for my Jesus as I write this reflection! How I'm planning out my day right now in my head around going to Mass so that I can be united with my God!
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| Saying goodbye to our guide, Miki. |
Sunday
We left Medjugorje at 3AM. Our flight to Munich was at 7:30AM. Although we arrived at the airport way too early, we were thankful to spend the last few hours with our friends, Jan and Maureen. Finally after surviving our propeller plane flight to Munich and saying goodbye to our new friends, Connor and I hopped on the train to go into Munich's city centre during our 7 hour layover. Everything went smoothly, and we even met a new friend on the train!
By 10:30AM, we were drinking beers (one was non-alcoholic) and eating lunch at a wonderful restaurant called Ratzkeller in Marienplatz. God is funny. Even during a short day trip in Munich, he sends us to "Mary's Square" which is considered the heart of Munich. What a joy to walk outside and see the Blessed Mother holding our Savior! This trip was truly a pilgrimage from start to finish.
After our visit to this beautiful House of God, we headed back to the airport. After many hours of traveling, we were so thankful to be greeted by our dog, Milo, at 2:30AM in Dallas and head straight to bed.
Final reflections
"Imagine waking up tomorrow with only what you thanked God for today." -Father Leon
I am so thankful for this experience to have been invited to Medjugorje by my Jesus to meet his Mother and to receive the grace of a deeper understanding of and yearning for my Jesus in the Eucharist.
I am so thankful for the people that we met. I am so thankful for the priests who shepherded us so well while in Medjugorje. I am thankful for all their prayers and kindnesses toward our little family.
I am so thankful to and for my husband. Connor is my gift from God. His faith is so beautiful. How I love witnessing him jump with two feet into God's mercy and goodness as he strives toward holiness on his journey to Heaven. He leads our family well by his loving support and openness to the will of God.
I am thankful for all of the graces that God gave both Connor and I during our time in Medjugorje. I am thankful for all the wisdom we received about being parents. I am thankful that God entrusted us with this gift of a child to take care of and love!
And the thanksgiving goes on and on and on!
Thank you taking time to read this reflection or at least skim it :) I pray that our God speaks to you today and your heart and soul are open to His love and mercy.
I hope this reflection gives you a good starting place/overview of our pilgrimage. If you have any questions at all about Medjugorje or want to discuss more in depth, please give me a call, text, or email. I would love to hear from you and share with you! Please keep me and my family in your prayers, and let me know how I can be praying for you and yours as well.
Love,
Samantha
